Michael Moorcock, The Roads Between The Worlds: The Wrecks Of Time / The Winds Of Limbo / The Shores Of Death

Standalones! Finally! Ignore the irrelevant framing material; these books have nothing to do with each other. They're not very good -- bombastic, formulaic, and incoherent -- but hey! It's a change of pace from multi-book series, even if they're inessential.

The Wrecks Of Time: Unbeknownst to the general population (due to a mental block that almost everyone has), there are fifteen similar but not identical earths -- there's a desert earth, a jungle earth, a frozen earth, and so on -- and they're mysteriously cracking up one by one, compliments of the villainous D-Squad. All would be lost if not for an intrepid secret organization devoted to preventing these planetary collapses and, when necessary, salvaging lives and equipment before all is lost. Our generic hero, Doctor Faustaff, works for this group. Good luck looking for any Faust or Falstaff in his character.

It's a good thing the D-Squad's agents are stupid, venal, and incompetent! One, a fellow by the name of Klosterheim, reveals that all these planets are in fact part of a colossal simulation being conducted by higher beings for completely asinine reasons. With a name like that, it's no surprise when he rebels against his superiors in an attempt to gain control of a new simulation earth that's under construction. His coup, involving a magic ritual reminiscent of Libussa's in The City In The Autumn Stars, is easily foiled.

Faustaff appeals to the higher powers, who explain the totally nonsensical "purpose" of the simulations and you may have already guessed are typical hyper-evolved "we no longer have emotions, what is this 'art' you speak of" types. They explain the totally nonsensical "purpose" of the simulations. Faustaff tells them they should abandon their cold rationalism and start making with the art. They agree. Their first act is to let the simulations take their own course without interference, placing all of the remaining planets in the same star system and lifting the comprehension block from the populace. For you see, this is not an ending; it is the beginning, and the rich tapestry that is human existence shall be their art.

Yeah. The story kind of lurches between different flavors of bad Philip K. Dick.

Choice quote: "Once again Faustaff wondered how a woman so well-endowed on the surface could appear to be so totally sexless."

Another: "Orelli smiled to himself. It was a wickedly introspective smile as if he looked into his own soul and was pleased with the evil he found there."

The Winds Of Limbo: This is a book for the irritating 9/11 Truth advocate in your life. It's some time in the future. Preaching against technology, a charismatic but peaceful cult leader called the Fireclown has steadily gained followers since he mysteriously appeared out of nowhere a year ago, and everyone can see that the issues raised by the Fireclown will be a major issue in the upcoming election for President of the solar system. Here's where our protagonist, Alain von Bek, comes in, because despite having no interest in politics himself, he's kind of torn. On the one hand, this is the last chance for Alain's grandfather, Simon von Bek, to become President, and it's kind of important to the old man, because every von Bek for generations has been President for at least one term. After Alain's mother died and his low-born experimental test pilot father disappeared on a mission to deep space [1], Simon raised him, and never let him forget his duty to the von Bek bloodline (with constant reminders of Alain's illegitimacy and need to prove himself). Simon, by the way, totally despises the Fireclown. CAN YOU GUESS THE SHOCKING PLOT TWIST HERE? On the other hand, opposing the geezer is the more popular Helen Curtis, who just happens to be Alain's cousin and ex-wife.

Here's where this gets ugly.

When Helen goes to meet him for political reasons, here's what we see: "She was evidently nervous. Her voice was shaking slightly. Probably his own was, too. They had been very close -- in love, even -- and the break, when it had finally come, had been made in anger. He had not been alone with her since."

Then we find out he disapproves of her political career. Not because she's a woman -- oh no, he has nothing against women in politics -- but he just feels that her talents lie elsewhere. In painting, maybe.

Then we find out he physically hit her when they broke up. Hard. It left a mark.

And we're supposed to feel sympathy for him when she mentions it (for relevant reasons) because "this had been on his conscience and her reference to it hurt him." And he gets her to apologize for bringing it up.

The book features the two of them getting back together as they stop the bad guys. At no point are these issues addressed. The unpleasantness of the whole thing kind of overshadows the main plot, which isn't any great shakes to begin with. There's a gigantic fiery explosion of dubious origin in the Fireclown's domain. It kills a lot of people, and public opinion instantly turns against the Fireclown, making Simon von Bek much more popular and gaining support for his hard-line anti-Fireclown police state. Hello, emergency powers! Hello, evil arms dealers encouraging paranoia and preemptive strikes because War Is Profitable! Goodbye, civil liberties!

WOW IT'S LIKE HE WAS LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE IT'S JUST LIKE HOW OUR GOVERNMENT FAKED 9/11 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO ALSO 1984

The tale lacks the subtle political machinations of the Star Wars prequel trilogy.

So we eventually learn that caring about class and bloodlines is evil, political ruthlessness is unacceptable no matter what side you're on, and the best solution is always towards the middle. This was worth subjecting me to a happy domestic abuse reunion? The last paragraph is heroically lame and could be tacked on to any of dozens of crappy books (think Memoirs Of A Geisha or something: "And all this happened because the universe was getting bored. THE END"), though I'm glad it settled here, where little damage could be done.

More bad Philip K. Dick-esque moments: People smoke name-brand marijuana cigarettes. Oh, the future!

The Shores Of Death: A science fiction fairytale, reminding me of a worse version of some of the stories in Cherryh's Sunfall. It's the far future, and the planet has stopped spinning, dividing the world into permanent daylight and night halves [2]. Everyone's inbred on the dark side to the point of near impotence, and only one twilight denizen, our main character, the mayor's beer-swilling brother Clovis Becker, ventures forth to the light side, becoming a leader. Soon enough, the people of the day side discover that they, too, have been rendered sterile by solar radiation absorbed over the course of their abnormally long lives. There's no escape in the stars; space colonization efforts fail miserably. It's clear the human race is done for, and decadence reigns.

Most of the book is spent detailing the various ways things suck and are hopeless (to make the final moral dilemma slightly credible). The political system breaks down and a violent thug takes power, taking pleasure in acting the villain's role at the end of civilization and appealing to peoples' worst instincts. An attempt to reach one of the dead space colonies is sabotaged, and would have resulted in failure even had it continued. Clovis and his lady love escape to the night side, but circumstances prevent them from living out their lives unmolested. The only faint hope for Clovis (and the human race) is with the reclusive super-inventor genius Orlando Sharvis (holed up in yet another moon hideout), who's cut from the same mold as O'Bean from the Bastable books and has the ability to make people immortal and just *loves* to give people what they think they want.

Despite ample warnings from those who've undergone the process, Clovis wants to be made immortal. Surprise! It works, but he's numbed and unable to feel anything, forever. He and his wife have been made fertile again, thus ensuring the survival of humanity, but he has lost his own humanity and will never be able to feel love for his wife or any emotion at all, so raising those kids is going to be kind of painful (especially for her, since she can still feel, though the focus is on his icy angst). Looks like giving up your heart for your heart's desire is a bad trade after all! IT'S A PARABLE.

 [1] I know, that's not the cover story we're originally told, but come on.

[2] The science we get is so bad we're essentially forced to take the story entirely on the symbolic level. Unfortunately, the symbolic level is also bad.